apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
