we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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