Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
