Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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