you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
