I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
