So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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