I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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