Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
