all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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