Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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