): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
