I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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