I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
