Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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