I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
