her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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