By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
