What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
