Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
