After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You pole danced in your parka.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
