I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
