So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You can't motorboat a personality
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
