Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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