The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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