will power is for people who don't want to get laid
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
