So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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