I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
50% drunk capacity currently
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
