Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
