I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
