In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize