You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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