Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
