I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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