you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
