The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
