I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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