Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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