his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
