i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
