NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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