I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
