last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
