its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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