You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
