if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
