I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
