Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.

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(847): View more from Illinois

There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.

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(518): View more from New York

just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her

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(850): View more from Florida

I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today

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(775): View more from Nevada

It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...

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(618): View more from Illinois

I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.

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