I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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