JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
