My brain says no but my pants say off.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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