party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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