Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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