yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
