Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
