Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
