32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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