i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
