I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
