Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
