i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
