He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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