Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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