In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
