he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
