Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
