Tell her she can't have a vagina
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
