We got so high we made milksteak
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
