i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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