Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
