I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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